This year I relearned a very applicable term for those in grief, “RESILIENCE”. Simply put, resilience is the ability to recover quickly from life’s most difficult tragedies. I can name some very dynamic folks who demonstrate resiliency. A few who come to mind are the mother who lost a child, a wife who lost her husband, a child who lost his parent(s) and family struck by a cancer diagnosis. In my research, I have come to understand that some folks inherit traits that help resiliency. In others, I have come to learn that resiliency becomes a learned behavior. There is something to be said about that old saying, “Jump back on the saddle.” Oddly, there is scientific theory about that old saying and how it helps to build resilience.
I am not sure if I have inherited resiliency traits or not. What I do know is that have learned resiliency skills along that way. I am currently reading a book called “Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges” by Steven M. Southwick & Dennis S. Charney. The book puts into perspective traits of the most resilient folks on the planet. The book talks of 9/11 survivors, POWs, Army Special Forces and regular people who have all experienced tragedy of their own. The common factor that ties the described survivors is resiliency. The 4 factors that can be learned out of Resiliency are:
- Focus on the Positive
- Cultivate Positive Thoughts
- Interpret Events Positively
- Behave Positively
I have also learned that an optimistic mind set is more beneficial to your health than a pessimistic mindset.
Obviously, I recommend seeking professional guidance and help with any significant tragedy involving grief.
Here is one last tip on the power of resiliency. It takes practice. Here is a resourceful website on building your resiliency.